Our mothers represent so much to us – love, stability, nurturing, pain, sorrow, sacrifice, resentment, martyrdom.
Our experience of our mother’s may be deeply complex – we may have been the adult or the nurturer in the relationship from an early age. We may have been deeply hurt or even betrayed by our mother. In the face of society, we may wish to protect the fragile thread we hold with them and not reveal the depth of our pain and sorrow.
We may have strong feelings to unite or join our mother’s field, to seek her wisdom and approval and care for her, regardless of our history.
Inwardly we may struggle with feelings of deep shame for our feelings, mourning for the childhood we didn’t or couldn’t have. We may be triggered seeing others mothering and receiving a mother’s love.
We may rage at our mothers and yet love them with all our might.
Our mother’s might not be strong enough to meet us in our fire, there may not be a container to voice our words & wounds to them, to weep out the pain of how it could’ve been or should have been.
For many of us we give up on our mother relationship or try at the very best to navigate a way to communicate that feels stifling, without a real sense of there being an intersection between who we are and our inner child & adult needs.
We might have spent our whole life healing the relationship with our mother so that we may love with trust and move through life with more freedom and possibility than she ever knew and still be tripped up, time and time again.
We may feel triggered after one conversation with our mother and feel like we have collapsed back into our childhood fears that we have worked so valiantly to heal.
I’m sensitive to Mother’s Day as it brings to light our relationship with our mother and our relationship with those in our life that have been so influenced by our childhood relating.
I offer this counsel that was given to me: there is a great mother that holds us all. She holds our mother and all our mothers before. We can turn to her and ask her for help, guidance, assistance, love, acceptance and regard. We can find her in the rivers, the streams, the forests, oceans, in the sunsets & in our yoga practice. We can ask to be held by a mother greater than our earthly mother.
We can also attune to a mother to teach us the benevolent ways of mothering. This may be a real person or an enlightened being who has traversed this earthly world. You may like to ask Green Tara, a bodhisattva, Mother Mary or another divine being you resonate with you to hold you – so that you have a holy mother you can turn your prayers and worries to, draw wisdom from and have as an inner guide.
If we expand our field to awareness to mother as life, a force that holds deep grace, compassion, forgiveness and guidance we may find an ease in our hearts that then allows our mother to be just as she is. Wounded, hurt, vulnerable, guilty, wild, dangerous, irresponsible, loving and more.
We may find a peace and an acceptance of our relationship that we did not know possible. And we too may become free to become the mother we were born to be.